A Time for Rejoicing

As I mentioned Monday, I wanted to talk about how my husband and I have gotten back together after a two month seperation. 

My husband, Steven, was in the Army for about 6 and a half years.  During that time, he became an alcoholic.  Now, he did not drink at home (alcohol wasn't even allowed in the house)and he never hurt me or the kids physically or mentally.  He was not and never has been 'mean' to us.  As a matter of fact, I did not even know he was an alcoholic until after he left the military.  You see, for over 3 years of those 6 and a half, we were not living in the same home- for every year with me and the kids, he spent about another year across the world on duty for the military.  That is when he did most of his drinking.  When he was home, there were many nights and days when he would have be away for duty, and I suppose he found times then to drink-but I don't know for sure.  He never came home drunk.  By the way, alcohol is very easily found and consumed on military posts over seas and at home.  It is pretty much considered normal to drink.  No wonder so  many of our military have a problem with it.
 
For a little bit of background about me and my husband- I am a faithful Christian and have always searched for and tried to do what is right according to God's Word.  I was raised in the church.  I am still a sinner though and when my husband and I were in high school, we dated and started being intimate with each other.  I became pregnant my first year of college, so two weeks after he graduated high school, we got married.  Yes, that was the backward way of doing things and I do not recommend going against God's Word because sin always has consequences and sometimes for many years.  I have been praying for Steven since the day we became married.  He was baptized during our marriage, but never really began to follow the Word.  He was not raised in the church.

Back to the story: Steven's last tour of duty was Iraq.  After that tour, he decided he could no longer be in the military.  After he left the military, I began to notice his drinking problem.  Then, two years later, I found out he had developed a drug problem as well.  And shortly after that, he was diagnosed with PTSD (post traumatic stress syndrome).  Steven never talked much about his tour in Iraq or much of anything else for that matter.  These problems slowly worsened over the next few years until it finally came to the point when I did something I never thought I would do.  I asked him to leave. 

I have read books and books, and studied my Bible and asked for advice from close friends over the many years of my marriage, way before even any of these major problems became evident.  I know my duty as a christian wife and a mother.  I have always tried to follow God's will so that I could be sure of his promises.  One of those promises is that a faithful wife can bring her unfaithful husband to the Lord.  I wanted that more than anything.  At the time when I asked him to leave, I had no idea what would happen next.  What would I do now?  Would we ever be together again?  What would my children think and say?  Is this truly the best thing to do?  Is this truly God's will?  on and on and on...  But I also felt that everything would be okay for some reason.  I cannot explain it.  Even through all my questions and fears, I knew that God would not leave me as long as I kept seeking his guidance. 
I had a big problem though, after that, I did not want to be with my husband again.  I felt that so strongly, it sometimes scared me.  I was learning how to be alone.  I was learning how to be the only parent- even in those two short months.  I liked my independancy and not having to worry about what Steven would do next.  He was not my concern any more, he was God's and that felt good to me.  I was not really sure that I wanted to have that back.  The crazy thing is, he was never really my concern, but always Gods.  I just tried to control the situation when in reality I cannot control any situation. Only God can. 
When Steven would call to talk to me, I was so rude and blunt in letting him know that there was probably no chance we would ever be together again.  It still amazes me that I said those things to him.  That is just not like me- I am the type of person that would hold something back if I felt it would hurt your feelings. 
I see now the way God used me to help him recover.  And I will tell that beautiful part of the story on Friday! 
Please come back to catch the ending, it is truly amazing.

Have a great day and God bless you!

An update...

It has been a year since I have touched this blog, so let's get started.  My kids are in the second semester of school at the local public school.  I have taken up substituting at least once a week there and have discovered a few things.  School is not what it used to be- not even for this little K-12 school my kids are attending.  I attended the same school they are in when I was a child.  For the most part, the kids are still well behaved.  The elementary section is still run very well (for a public school).  You see, I am a bit biased, I still think home school is the best academically.  I think they do too much text work and not enough hands on in the public schools. 
The Junior High section is pretty good also, but I noticed some slacking off academically.  I was helping Steven J. do some writing homework one night and noticed he had written IDK on one of the answers.  I asked him what that meant and he said "I Don't Know".  I informed him he could not write I Don't Know on an answer, and he let me know that his teacher said it was fine.  I couldn't believe it.  So now we are allowing the kids to answer something with I Don't Know and even worse it is in "phone text" version (IDK).  Needless to say, my son will not be writing IDK on another paper, but it saddens me to realize how low some of the teaching has gotten.  On a good note, Steven J. and I both were pleasantly surprised by the science class.  Science has always been Steven's favorite subject.  They do lots of hands on experiments.
The High School section on the other hand, I am disappointed in.  After three years of Spanish, shouldn't a student be able to speak, read, or write some of it?  The math area is excellent though.  But math is my best subject, so there is not problem with my teaching it to our children. 
So, the dilemma- do they stay in next year or come back home?  Guess we will just have to keep praying, weighing the good and bad, and decide over the next months.

Please comment if you have any opinions on this subject- I could use all the feedback I can get! Thanks!

Topics I will be covering this week:  learning to quilt and my husband and I are back together after a two month seperation-God truly loves His children

Thanks for stopping by and God Bless You!